Behind the Lens - Elysiumm, LemonSuzuki - 原神 (2025)

As the sun began to set on the horizon, two boys sat in a cozy coffee-scented building in a far corner away from the few other strangers that sat in as well. One was reading a book while the other was on his phone. The boy with braided hair looks up at his friend and back down at his phone multiple times, mustering the courage to speak about an internal conflict he was having.

The boy with pale locks looked up and seemed to immediately notice the distress of the other, as he was quick to mark the page and close his book, setting it on the table, "Venti." He spoke up. The boy looked up from his phone again and froze at the sudden eye contact. "What seems to be the issue?" He pries further.

"Well…shit..okay hmm.." He pulled his braids in front of his face in embarrassment and looked down at the wooden table. “I met this guy..” He started but paused for a second to let out a small giggle.

“So this is a boy problem?” Kazuha commented, filling in the moment of silence.” Yes but he’s not just any boy!” a whine-like tone escaped Venti’s mouth as he spoke, almost offended.”Okay, okay. Try starting from the beginning without having a giggle fit.”

"Which beginning…when we first met or like…when I fucked up?" Venti questioned, tilting his head slightly. Kazuha let out a sigh and thought about it for a moment. "The earliest beginning I suppose." The other eyes gleamed with excitement, he's probably been wanting to talk about this boy for a while…

Like any other night Venti had scrolled through social media as if it was a religion. He was prone to that. Scrolling for hours at a time despite having things he most definitely should be getting done. But much like everyone else in this world, he did not care.

He wasn’t stupid though, he had come to the realization multiple times that he should get off that app because he’d been on it for too long and he’d listen to himself. The problem would lie with his attention span. Because yes. He’d been on ‘Twitter’ for too long, so whilst closing the app ‘maybe he should quickly check to see what’s going on with snapchat.’ And that cycle would continue to every social media in cursed cellular devices.

So of course he eventually made the rounds of, ‘eh, I’ve been on tumblr for a while…oh I haven’t been on instagram all day.’

Whilst doom-scrolling through reels like the loser he was, he’d come across a hyperpop edit. Now, this was a problem.

This was a problem because Venti loved edits. This was a problem because it was already 4am and he had some errands to run later in the day. This was a problem because the song was catchy and the boy on screen was someone Venti had never seen before. This was a problem because the man happened to be incredibly cute. This was a problem because the edit was a stark difference to how depressed the man looked and it made Venti laugh. This was a problem because Venti clicked on the profile that had hundreds of edits with this man. This was a problem because Venti took interest in this man almost instantly.

This was a problem because Venti definitely wasn’t getting those errands done today.

The man took up Venti’s mind for over a month, he had a folder dedicated to Alatus, who he learned was a streamer. Not like a weird folder of images of him on a laptop. Like tiktok and instagram folders so when he came across a post of him he’d save it in that particular area. Might have been just as creepy but it’s not uncommon.

It’d gotten better, he wasn’t staying up all night to watch edit’s of the man. Instead, he was staying up all night to watch the man's streams! Much more productive if he had to say.

Much more productive for his online persona. But IRL it was becoming much more difficult to respond to text when he had edits to look at instead, it was difficult to find time to go grocery shopping when he never found himself hungry, always distracted with his phone.

He managed to squeeze his way into the streamers community, always active in chat, talking to the fans who’d acknowledge his comments in chat during the streams. Around almost 2 months in he managed to finally stick to a schedule.

He went shopping on Fridays and hung out with friends on Tuesdays and Thursdays when Alatus didn’t stream. He’d have time to respond to friends on a daily basis after pushing back the amount of edits he scrolled through.

It was much more set in stone after 3 months. Since he was much more into the fanbase now, he found himself naturally watching less edits, focusing on the streams that were only 4-5 hours long later in the day. He managed to make time for himself, his friends, and this hyperfixation.

Around 4 months in is when he began sending super chats. There was a day Alatus was on a very chill minecraft playthrough and Venti had said in chat, “Imagine a creeper came up behind him.” and funnily enough that did happen but since Venti had sent that message Alatus did a one off glance behind him and managed to use his shield in time. Alatus had responded with, “Thanks for warning me, Barbatos. I could have died.”

That was the first time he was noticed by Alatus, and he screamed into his pillow for 10 minutes before continuing his typing in chat.

It was pretty nice. 5 months in he’d been noticed countless times by his comments. He’d made some clips of Alatus, posting them on multiple platforms. Just the normal clips fans would make with the colored subtitles. Sometimes he’d indulge in edits, he’d gotten better at making them.

He’d managed to become someone in the community, actually being recognized whenever he joined the stream. He talked to people in pre-stream and post-stream chat. It was a very nice thing he’d gotten himself into. He’d balanced it out with everything else and was now living peacefully.

He was talking to people in a fan made Unofficial Alatus discord server, it was very popular in the community so it was basically the official server for the streamer, and someone had come online, an unfamiliar name typing in the chat. They’d asked, “what’s so special about this streamer? He’s kind of boring..”

Now you’d expect people to explain why they like Alatus. Explain how he was entertaining to them and express that it was okay to feel another way.

But no.

Whilst Venti was already typing out a genuine reply, the server instead would rather tell the person to kill themselves, that their opinion was trash and they were practically scum for not enjoying the streams.

The person in question who had made the comment replied with a sincere apology, explaining how they hadn’t meant any harm, they just wanted to understand the joy in watching the creator. And even their apology was met with horrible comments about what their personality probably was and how they shouldn’t even have to question.

Venti hadn’t actually seen this side of the fanbase yet. It was strange to him. How loving and supporting they were to the man and to fans, even to people who knew nothing about the man they helped into the fanbase.

Venti hadn’t seen any explicit haters, not scrolling far enough to find hate content he supposed, Or maybe it was all drowned out by the edits and fanart of the man. He’d never actively searched for people with a distaste for Alatus so he’d never seen it. He had witnessed the occasional fights between fans in the server arguing over parts in his streams but nothing so serious as death threats.

And Venti just happened to be a rather sentimental person. The commenter hadn’t replied to any of the other chats. They apologized and then went silent which Venti really didn’t like, so he clicked on their profile and sent them a friend request. He didn’t really expect them to respond, and as he had suspected they didn’t acknowledge the request.

So he took it upon himself to argue in the commenters' defense.

‘I don’t understand how disgusting you guys can be to someone asking a simple question. They did not directly hate on Alatus, they had made a comment. They asked a question and made a statement explaining why they asked. Just because they find Alatus’ streams boring doesn’t equate to hate towards him. Instead of telling someone to kill themselves, just sincerely answer.’

It received negative attention at the time, he had to argue with a few fans for a while to get his point across. Mods eventually stepped in to make an announcement that restated the rules of the server and the situation basically blew over after a day.

Venti had also let the situation go. It had been the next day and he had opened discord after one of Alatus’ streams, about to click on the server but stopping upon seeing a dm waiting to be answered. It had been the person from the day before.

They’d accepted his request.

‘Thanks for yesterday’

It was a simple message. But it made Venti feel accomplished.

‘Of course, it was unnecessary. Are you okay?’

It did take a while for the person to respond.

‘It’s alright, I just wanted to see something.’

What did that mean? ‘Just wanted to see something.’ See what exactly? Venti stared at the message for a bit, biting his lip in contemplation whether he should question it or not. Though before he could actually type anything they sent another message.

‘A social experiment if you’re wondering. Nothing too grand. Their reactions lost me a bet though.’

That…confused Venti even more. He bit back his anxiety and decided to question it. Worst case scenario, a random stranger online unfriends him. Boohoo.

‘What was the bet? If you don’t mind me asking.

Almost immediately an answer comes through.

‘See how insane Alatus fans are. I held out hope, my friend said I’d be flamed. She seemed to be correct. I’m a bit disappointed they reacted that way at such a simple question. I did add the little quip but the overreaction was extremely surprising. Makes me worried for people who make that mistake without being prepared for the backlash.’

Venti agreed with that. He was a bit annoyed that he worried for a troll essentially, but he supposed the man did have a point. These fans were…insane.

‘Well you have your answer I guess. I hope you have a nice day.’

Venti didn’t exactly mean to respond with such an attitude but he genuinely thought a completely innocent person just got sent death threats repeatedly and it turned out to be someone simply “testing” the fan base.

‘I am sorry for the inconvenience. It was rather rude of me to waste your time for our little test.’

Well now Venti felt bad.

‘No no it’s fine! You just wanted to prove that the fan base was kind and was shown otherwise. I’m sorry we as a community didn’t live up to your expectations and I do hope you can enjoy the streams just as much as we do.’

Now was that necessary? Yes. Because Venti was a people pleaser and he’d be damned to leave this conversation off on a bad note.

‘Oh well…if you’re still willing to answer the question that’d be nice?’

Well that was a nice little turn.

‘I watch Alatus because he seems relatable. I mean of course I started it because he’s unnaturally attractive but now that I’ve been here for a few months I don’t even fanboy anymore…’

‘(Except for when I’m noticed in chat. Who wouldn’t let out a little giggle or scream into their pillow if a streamer noticed them out of thousands of other comments? Exactly.)’

‘Anywaaays! I feel like if I met him without knowing him we’d be good friends to be honest. He reminds me of a good friend of mine, just more sarcastic. If you’re willing to look into him more I’m sure you’ll understand what I’m talking about! And if you don’t enjoy his type of content then it’s whatever. Just watch whatever makes you happy!’

Venti felt that his little rant of messages scared the person off so he made sure to add a little ‘sorry for ranting, you can skip most of it’ text along with it. The message was a small little saving grace for him.

After about 5 minutes Venti decided to close out of discord for now after not receiving a response and get up for the time being.

A little meal wouldn’t hurt.

He made his way to his kitchen and decided to prepare a bowl of cereal. That obviously didn’t take long, but halfway through getting his cereal he’d gotten a notification so once pouring the milk he glanced at the message and noticed it was from that same user. “Gothic_Gaze.”

A funny name actually. Very emo. But when reading the little ‘about me’ it instantly makes sure to clear up that “My friend made this account for me.” With nothing else.

He grabbed a spoon and headed back to the room whilst reading the message.

‘Sorry, I had to do something. But he seems like a cool guy, I just really don’t understand the hype. I don’t believe he’s boring. My friend told me to add a small insult for the experiment. I just don’t think his fanbase being that huge makes sense for a guy that does nothing but make sarcastic quips and annoyed glares at the camera for hours,’

Maybe having the man simply sum it up as finding Alatus ‘boring’ was better than his actual opinion. The fans definitely would have found his IP if he said all of that.

‘Well I understand what you mean but it’s more than that. Seriously. He’s real with his audience. Very interactive with his fanbase and can draw boundaries where boundaries are needed. He’s a genuinely kind hearted male, simply looking at his charity live streams is enough to notice that but even without those you see little things he does is from a kind heart. We aren’t just there for the ‘haha funny glare’. A lot of us watch because we find his personality and genuine warmheartedness endearing despite his rather…emo(?) exterior.’

Another rant from the notorious ‘Barbatos’ but it wasn’t his fault the topic was about his biggest hyperfixation this year.

It didn’t take long for the little, ‘Gotchic_Gaze is typing…’ to pop up, so Venti just stayed in chat until the message was sent.

‘Thank you.’

Venti tilted his head, about to respond before the message was immediately edited.

‘Thnk youfuryur insigh!’

Well that was surely a rushed edit. Venti shrugged, giggling at the mistakes. The message was of course edited once more.

‘Thank you for your insight.’

Venti let out a cackle. His humor was horribly broken so he wasn’t surprised he was laughing at a simple message error.

He sent a cat laughing emoji from one of the many discord servers he was in. Letting the person’s error sink in as he chuckled to himself.

‘Are you laughing at me.’ With a grumpy cat emoji along with it. Also from a discord server that happened to be private. That annoyed Venti since he really liked that grumpy cat emoji…

‘No, why would I be laughing at you?’ Though the message was contradicted with pepe the frog grinning. The conversation seemed to flow smoothly now. It was honestly kind of funny the way it was being played out.

Venti continued on being snarky as the person, who he’d gotten the general understanding of being a man, continued acting annoyed at Venti’s constant teasing. Venti had even sent a screenshot he’d cropped of the man's horrible typo’s which caused the other to activate caps lock apparently.

‘YOU CROPPED THE DIFFERENT STAGES?’

‘WHA’

‘REALLY???”

Venti couldn’t help but laugh harder. This went on for a few more minutes, then Venti’s apology (with a lot of emojis that contradicted his apology) lasted for a bit longer.

Before he knew it he had messaged this man for over an hour.

Eventually the man had to go so they both said bye and went offline. Venti, to go watch Alatus stream. And the man, apparently, to take a nap.

That was the last he’d heard of the man for the day.

The next day Venti opened his eyes groggily, a faint ringing in the distance. He outstretched his fingers, testing the movements of his joints before fully sitting up. For some odd reason yesterday felt like a fever dream. (In a very loose definition.)

He glanced at his phone, looking at the usual messages he got on a daily basis. His discord was always full of mutual’s dming or spam pining him on the server. He did grow pretty far in the community at this point. 14.3k subscribers on his youtube, a following of around 30k on both instagram and tiktok. He primarily made clips of Xiao, and the occasional edits. Though he usually spent about 3 days on his edits considering they were typography edits that took much longer than other edits. The occasional velocity that did well in the mix.

Barbatos was a pretty known name in the fanbase. Sometimes when Alatus would notice him in chat he’d greet him as if he was a mutual. ‘Oh, I see you aren’t even a second late, per usual Barbatos. Welcome.’ He stated in one of the recent streams. Venti was indeed kicking his feet.

All that just to say, despite the hundreds of notifications he had on the app, he didn’t expect to see Gothic_Gaze, messaging him a few minutes after he’d woken up.

‘Morning…if you’re even awake. I couldn’t be sure.’ Venti read the message in an internal nerdy voice for some odd reason. Making the innocent good morning message look incredibly stupid.

‘I am indeed awake! Salutations huzz!’ He made sure to add the nerd emoji for the extra effect. He got back a very disappointed cat emoji which he deserved.

The conversation began with what they’d have for breakfast. Then it went to what they’d do for their morning, Venti talking about his skin care routine that he did but suffered doing since it took 20 minutes and he was impatient. Gothic then talking about his lack of skin care that took around 5 minutes because he was ‘so much cooler and better than’ Venti.

Then Venti began messaging him while warming up some french toast. They continued to message for almost another hour (it’d already been half an hour) before Venti had to run out to the store so he bid his mutual adieu.

That’s kind of how his days went on from there. Texting Gothic frequently for a while before both of them mutually going to do something else. Venti liked Gothic’s timing as well. He always needed to do something usually, or was tired around the time Alatus would stream so Venti usually didn’t have to cut off the conversation to ‘go watch his favorite streamer’ which was good because Venti hated using that line.

They had gotten pretty familiar within 2 months. Familiar enough for the ‘good morning’ messages to turn into ‘wake your lazy ass up’ messages at least.

Now this is where the story begins to get interesting. Venti could see as his pale haired friend leaned in closer, knowing exactly what was going on. Venti genuinely wished he had such foresight beforehand but sadly he wasn’t being told the story, but instead living it.

Venti talked to Gothic for about 5 months before anything began to happen. They had their little schedule, ultimately fixing Venti’s fucked up sleep schedule by causing him to wake up way earlier in the morning just to shoot Gothic a message.

It was a nice little routine actually.

At some point, Venti didn’t have anyone to play roblox with. Kazuha deleted it because ‘Bloxburg was too emotionally damaging’ for his health. Or something like that..Venti also couldn’t ask Kaeya because his technological skills were lackluster.

So he thought maybe he could go to his good old mildly emo mutual who was more than a mutual actually.

‘Hey….’

‘What do you want.’

Oh! Well if they were gonna do this bit then fine!

‘Well dickface I was gonna ask you a very important question.’ It wasn’t important. Gothic could apparently tell…somehow…

‘Right. Wanna ask that question now?’

Venti could feel somehow that this man was smirking. And he frowned deeply at the notion.

‘Don’t patronize me!’

‘I’m simply curious. Is that so wrong?’ A frowning cat emoji included in that message.

Venti huffed, wanting to be stubborn but his need to try out this 2 player obby was more important.

‘You play roblox?’ Was all Venti could manage to type due to his nerves..

And surprisingly enough Gothic did indeed play roblox. Now here goes the hard part. Asking to play the game was one thing. But being someone who can’t play games without verbally talking to someone was another thing altogether because now he had to somehow ask for a call or something of the sort.

‘We’re playing roblox.’ He demanded, just to make sure before he went onto that next step.

‘Sure why not. I’m not doing much today anyways.’

Since that was set in stone-

Gothic_Gaze is calling you…

Venti’s heart dropped. Gothic called him…just like that? Unprompted? Not even asking!? They’ve never heard each other before and the man somehow just calls him like he has no fear?! This was mildly offensive to Venti!

So he made sure not to answer until the last second. Just to hopefully cause some sort of psychological torture on the man.

Now when answering, he didn’t really think of what to say. So for almost a full 20 seconds the call was completely silent. The silence was broken by a deep, ‘hello?’ which shook Venti to his core because that sounded too familiar.

So naturally, like the mature adult he was. He did not respond.

‘Heeelllooooo? Are you there?”

Venti calmed his racing heart and responded with a nervous chuckle. “Hehe, sorry you just caught me off guard!” He shook his head to himself, finding his own comment idiotic, but it came off natural which was all that mattered.

A rich laugh came through the mic, a slight rasp to it. “Ah, you’re an Alatus fan. Don’t mind me. I uh…I get told I sound like him. If thats a problem-” and before Venti could even think of what he was saying, of course he cut the man off with a rather obnoxious “No! No it uh…it doesn’t bother me at all. Simply surprising.”

Not the most professional way to go about it but he couldn’t help it. Then again, Gothic was a…he hesitated to really so friend but he really wants to say Gothic is a friend, so he will. Gothic was a friend, so he’d learn to get past his simping tendencies. Though Venti won’t be able to erase the fact that with a voice like that, he might be able to simply listen to the man talk for hours.

But he’d ignore that for his friend as well. “So what’re we playing?”

It almost didn’t register that they had called to specifically play a game. He stopped himself from asking ‘what?” and instead he actually decided to process the information and respond to the question with a genuine answer. “Oh! Yea. Okay okay, I found a game called Altitorture…”

That didn’t go as planned. Venti didn’t focus on the fact Gothic sounded like Alatus at all. He couldn’t . Merely due to the fact that Gothic seemed to SUCK at team games and that feeling of disappointment and anger overpowered any other right now.

Many friendly “SLOW THE HELL DOWN.” and “YOU CAN’T JUST JUMP UP, IT’S A TEAM GAME.” comments were shared. By shared he meant distributed strictly from him because Gothic was the only one going fast. The occasional “WHY THE- HOW THE FUCK ARE YOU EVEN THAT HIGH WITHOUT ME?” comments would leave his lips. Utter pain and confusion at this point.

It had gotten to the point where Venti had to take a deep breath, hands off the laptop and instead clasped together as he leaned his forehead against them.

“Barbatos…?”

“No…” A deep sigh. “Just no.”

He stayed like that for around a minute before clearing his voice and coming to the conclusion…him and Gothic needed to have a chat. So he physically draped Gothics avatar over to a corner. Not like the man could really run…and with his constant jumping he was being pulled along.

“This is a team game..” He had begun. And there came the 10 minute rant about how the man couldn’t simply go 10m ahead and expect Venti’s avatar not to be thrown off the side of their platform, causing them both to drop. Alatus, despite acknowledging this fact. Did not fix his act.

“I really am trying-”

“ITS NOT THAT HARD TO SLOW DOWN- Y'KNOW WHAT. I’M DONE. I'M LEAVING.”

Valid crashout.

They ended up playing roblox for the next 4 hours.

And that's where their routine changed a bit. After another month of occasionally calling, once they were more confident to simply hit the call button they began to call instead of text in the morning. Venti, now able to talk to Gothic as he did his skin care in the morning. Gothic, now able to experience the wonders of hearing Venti scream about there being soap in his eyes.

It was nice. Venti still wasn’t really able to process the voice still, his mind constantly wandering over to images of Alatus speaking when Gothic talked to him. It felt weird. He really was trying to overcome it but the resemblance was uncanny. The feeling was so strange…like he was…cheating on his boyfriend.

Let’s expand on that thought.

He wasn’t committed to this stranger online. But he did have a strange epiphany that the situation resembled that of a girlfriend thinking of another man as their boyfriend did something, or said something to them. It was extremely strange and he felt extremely guilty…

Though he never mentioned it. He’d get over that hurdle. It was only fair that he did, so as to not make it awkward between them. And what was he to say anyways? “Hey! Your voice is very similar to Alatus…actually…not just very similar…vastly similar and I find it extremely difficult to focus on you during our conversations due to the voice you were born with!”

Obviously fucking not.

He’d be alright. He’d be fine.

3 months later and he was definitely not fine. Quite the opposite actually. They called so frequently that the voice of Gothic filled his mind daily, and the worst part is that Gothic was faceless so it was horrifically easy to just imagine Alatus in the scenarios he conjured up. Actually! It was horrifically easy to imagine Alatus speaking to him WHILE they were on call.

That has to be fucked up right? Imagining someone else while your friend is talking to you?

He felt like a cheating partner for fucks sakes! The pain and guilt was actually eating him alive, and not knowing how to explain that to his good ol’ pal only made this so much worse, considering the fact that the guilt CAME FROM THIS BEING A SECRET.

He’d die at this rate. He could ask one of his friends but that also sounded stupid…”Hey I have this friend that sounds like the streamer I’m head over heels for!” NO? ABSOLUTELY NOT???

He will get over this, it was nothing but a small hurdle.

The hurdle got bigger.

Now Venti was creating conspiracy theories about his friend. They’ve been friends for over 9 months. 5 months of texting, now 4 months of their frequent, almost daily calls. And his obsession (for lack of a better word) has only grown stronger. He even began switching the conversation topics a bit to hear Gothic say certain phrases. Somehow accidentally finding himself manipulating the man to say things so he could think of Alatus saying it! This was actually weird! He was weird! He had a weird problem that was weird!!!

So now 10 months into this absolute nightmare, 5 months of these dreadfully enjoyable calls…

He broke.

..

Or so he would have. But it seems Gothic broke first. Not in the way of a confession, but in the way of being caught.

Venti’s leg bounced with excessive nerves he couldn’t hold back. He was just about to hit the call button, but something was holding him back. Something was stopping that progression. That contemplation led him to one of Alatus’ streams. A thing to calm him down.

During the stream Venti text Gothic. Something he never really does during streams since he usually was zoned into them. But he simply had to let the man know he needed to talk.

Something strange happened though. Alatus turned to check his notification at the same time. Venti really thought nothing of it until he looked down at his lap for a minute, phone out of view and once he looked back up a message had been sent from Gothic to Venti.

Now…that raised questions. But it wasn’t suspicious enough until his eyes went wide for a moment as if he had messed up but his poker face immediately appeared back once again, he came up with an excuse when chat asked what that was. ‘I thought I saw a cockroach on the wall.’

Not bad. Kind of a stupid excuse but for fans who knew nothing it’s not like they had the grounds to be skeptical.

But Venti had grounds to be skeptical.

Venti felt like he had that right. He had been questioning this for a bit. The stark similarities between Alatus’ and Gothic's voice. Some phrases the man would say on call generally that Alatus would say in stream. The way Gothic was always busy or tired whenever Alatus would stream.

None of this seemed to be an issue before. The voice was simply a coincidence. And it wasn’t strange…a lot of people had that raspy voice on that server. And he always just thought maybe another reason he was even aware of Alatus is because he got told so many times that he’d sounded like the streamer. It sounded plausible.

The phrases were also generic. And even some of the rare phrases only Alatus would say many fans had picked them up and began saying them. Gothic may have just been a viewer but seeing fans say those phrases it’d be fair to pick some of them up. They were funny.

And the ‘never seen in the same room’ affect the two had never bothered Venti. Venti never texted anyone while watching Alatus stream, usually too invested. So most of the time Venti would be the one to leave. The times Gothic would leave he’d usually just say he’s tired or his friends over which is believable when talking to a stranger. Not like Venti had grounds to rebuke that.

All in all, he never really thought of the little things like that because he had absolutely no grounds to suspect anything. Of course he had the slight delusions, the weird conspiracies he’d made up when he was bored.

But those conspiracies seemed so much more believable now.

Why did Alatus make that strange face after texting someone. And why did he lie about it and cover it up saying he saw a cockroach? He could easily have said he made a typo or sent the wrong image or something related to the phone that he most obviously picked up, but instead it’s almost as if he wanted to hide the idea he was texting in the first place?

If he did go into his crazy conspiracies, he could conjure up this.

Venti could easily speculate the expression Atalus made was a ‘I fucked up’ expression. The two of them never texted while the man was streaming. Gothic was a quick responder, and if the man happened to be Alatus then that wouldn’t change on stream. He could have easily blanked out and responded to the message without really thinking about it.

And it's not a secret the Gothic was talking to Barbatos. He’s mentioned Barbato’s status in the community countless times, just small quips here and there, nothing too grand. But knowing who Barbatos was, knowing he was talking to someone who attended every single stream…that face would make sense? He would feel caught. Knowing he just sent that message, Barbatos had been watching every move and on top of that getting the message at the same time…though Venti didn’t exactly think much of it when it happened, writing it off…the face was warranted from someone who wasn’t aware of that fact.

It would make sense.

For a conspiracy.

But Venti couldn’t turn his friend into one big theory. That was fucked up. It was almost impossible for him to be talking to Alatus. It’d be delusional to even think it was a possibility.

But…

..

If that was the case. A small superchat wouldn’t hurt.

It’d be a small thing. It wouldn’t mean a thing to someone like Alatus. It wouldn’t hurt to say a small comment to just ease his own mind. It wouldn’t be betraying his friends feelings, it’d simply be making sure he doesn’t do so in the future.

So he hesitantly brought his hands to his keyboard. Trembling slightly as he waited for the right time to bring something up. His mind was racing at this point, he couldn’t think of a single comment to even make without directly outing his friend.

His nerves weren’t calming down in the slightest. The streamer looked on edge for some reason and that was only heightening his anxiety.

“I don’t exactly have a game picked out right now considering this stream was going to mostly be talking to you guys..” Alatus commented, his gaze periodically glancing at something on his desk. Venti could think he was glancing at his phone if he continued with those conspiracy theories…but he wouldn’t. “Is there anything you all would like to recommend?”

An idea sparked into Venti’s mind.

It was a harmless suggestion. It wouldn’t out a single thing and if Gothic and Alatus were two different people (which they had to be.) then there’d be no reaction.

So he typed into a donation, a 10 dollar donation popping up on screen with the signature ding. “How about Altitorture?”

The streamers expression hardened for a bit. “Oh uh..” he looked very nervous now. His eyes darted between something on his desk and back to his monitor. Venti watched this unfold in disbelief.

Alatus looked like he had been backed into a corner.

Alatus looked like he had been caught.

Venti’s heart dropped. Venti had caught him. He hadn’t even meant to.

“That sounds like a lovely game but sadly I do not have a duo.” He chuckled, shaking his head for the sake of the stream.

That was all there was to it. He denied the game politely and went on with the stream, but with a closer look Venti could see he was tense, his shoulders raised partially.

Venti felt like throwing up.

He stood up and walked away from his laptop, pacing back and forth. It wasn’t that big of a deal! It couldn’t have been. He should be happy actually. That he’s been talking to his favorite streamer all this time. But he felt mostly used. Why did Alatus pursue this friendship with him? Afterall he was the one that reached out, saying good morning on that second day.

Why did he come back? And then it just kept going! It’d be different if they’d texted occasionally but they texted every single day . That wasn’t something that could just be taken back! He built a genuine friendship with Venti under a false Identity. And what made Venti even more nauseous was the fact he’d been guilt ridden for the past almost 5 months, mulling over the fact that the stark similarity between “Gothic” and Alatus’ voices was insane, making him think of Alatus when the online persona was speaking to him. Making him feel like he was being unfair and unfaithful to his “friend.”

Was this some sort of social experiment too? He did have that experience before. “Gothic” joined the server strictly as a social experiment so who’s to say this whole friendship wasn’t one as well. Another bet?

Venti stared at his wall at this realization. He had stopped pacing, and suddenly he was all too aware of his body. All too aware of his breathing. All top aware of his heartbeat. He tried to take deep breaths to calm himself, but that only quickened his heartbeat.

He felt his face turn damp. He was crying. What a loser! He was crying over an online “friend.” Someone online that had no actual effect in his life. He had IRL friends. He had people he could actually talk to. He hadn’t even known what Gothic looked like until now. How did he have this much of an affect on him for him to be hyperventilating like this.

How did some random online cause him to curl into a ball and cry for hours.

Venti’s self-pity session ended after he tuned into his surroundings and heard Alatus saying his goodbyes to stream. He stood up, walking over to his laptop and glancing at chat. Everyone saying goodbye to the man. He simply turned the stream off and upon opening his discord he’d noticed some chats from concerned mutuals. ‘You weren’t in the stream today?’ ‘You left after that donation, what was that about?’ ‘I WANTED TO SEE YOU IN POST-CHAAAAT!!’

Venti scrolled through the many DM’s he’d gotten from the mutuals. He loved them so much, they were genuinely good people. But right now he couldn’t deal with it. He couldn’t deal with all their concerns right now.

He scrolled down to Gothic’s profile, clicking on the messages and glancing at them. Glancing at what Gothic had said during the stream all those hours ago. “Yea sure, I’ll text you in a bit.”

Venti frowned. So that’s what he had said. The message itself had no actual meaning behind it. A simple ‘I’m busy’ but worded more casually. But with the context on why, it was a bit heartbreaking looking at. A reminder.

He scrolled up in their messages a bit, looking at the hours of chat’s they’d had within the days, texting each other and not missing a single one.

This was all so confusing…

‘Barbatos?’ A message came through. Then once Venti hadn’t gotten a chance to respond, a call began. He couldn’t answer it. For his own sake he’d have to decline this one.

‘Barbatos we need to talk right?’ Another message came through. Venti took a look at youtube. Alatus’ stream, and post chat, had just fully ended.

Another ring. Venti declines.

‘Barbatos…I know you might be upset.’

Venti grit his teeth and joined the damn call. “Upset?!” He began, running a hand through his hair as the other’s breath caught in his throat. “Goth- Alatus. Alatus I’m more than upset!” He began.

“Barbatos please, I have my reasons and-”

“I’ve been beating myself up over this for…for months! I thought I was going crazy!” He chuckled whilst stating that, in full disbelief.

“What are you talking about? Beating yourself up over what?” Genuine confusion. That did nothing but annoy Venti more.

“It doesn’t even matter now! I can’t believe I was going to have a genuine conversation with you! I was going to apologize for-...for nothing! GOD! You don’t actually deserve my apology! You’ve just been using me this whole time? What could I possibly even be used for??? Just another damn social experiment! That’s what! What was the bet this time?!” He began ranting and raving, unable to even keep the topic coherent. Skipping over details and letting his emotions get the better of him.

“Barbatos I’m lost. I couldn’t just give you my identity obviously! But what are you talking about right now? What bet?!” Alatus genuinely argued back.

“You know what! The bet doesn’t even fucking matter. I hope you got what you were fucking looking for.” There were tears running down his cheeks, overwhelmed and unable to function without the want to snap his computer in half.

“Barbatos-”

“No! It’s fucking done!” He let out a hiccup, an indication he was crying. It wasn’t this serious. Alatus was just a guy online. It didn’t actually fucking matter.

But it…it really hurt…

Kazuha’s face held a frown, pity in his eyes. “Venti..” He began, his pale hand resting against the other males. Venti had teared up a bit thinking about it. He left it at that. He left the call and never responded to Alatus again. He’s been inactive in the community all this time now, it’s already been over 3 months since he’s even clicked on the man's channel.

“You were emotional. Alatus has the right to hide his identity..” Kazuha had begun, but Venti let out a sigh annoyed enough to shut him up. “I know! But it still doesn’t change the fact that I feel he’s been using me for something!” He crossed his arms, hands pulled away from Kazuha’s comforting gesture.

The calmer of the pair tilted his head, a genuine question on his mind. “Can you logically think of what he could have possibly been using you for?” That made Venti question. “I…I don’t know but come on it’s still weird. Why would he come back to chat with me…there was some sort of ulterior motive!”

“Maybe he simply enjoyed your company much like you enjoyed his.”

Venti frowned, leaning against the cafe seats. He hadn’t thought of that. But even so it seemed weird. This streamer with millions of fans just happened to choose him as a bestie? He was probably doing this to a bunch of people? “It was probably some sort of ego project. I mean the amount of times he, as Gothic has insulted Alatus…that’s a weird sense of self depreciation? Maybe compliment fishing. I mean defending Alatus is basically defending him.” Venti shrugged.

Kazuha shook his head in disbelief. “He couldn’t just give up his identity. Since he has millions of fans…right? He doesn’t have much explaining to do. Although, you do.” The pale haired poet pointed his slender finger at the timid male. “I…don’t have a clue what you’re referring to.”

“You had those strange thoughts, correct? That is what stressed you out the most, is it not?” Kazuha asked, his finger still pointed in the other direction. He continued speaking once receiving a nod. “You need to explain your emotional outburst. He was left in the dark on that account.”

Venti knew his friend was correct, so he stayed silent in an attempt at staying stubborn.

“Though…he did let it get too far. I do agree almost a year of holding up a fake identity warrants a reaction.” At least Kazuha wasn’t a biased person. He reprimanded Venti when need be, and pointed out others faults when need be. He was a great friend and Venti knew his attitude shouldn’t be directed towards the male.

So he let out a puff of air and shook his head. “Fine….” He was thoroughly defeated. Although… “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.”

“Try watching his streams again. Just let him warm up to you actually being back before you text him randomly. Honestly he might reach out first. It seems like the most comfortable approach for the both of you.” Kazuha explained thoroughly, his expression soft to calm his friends, never ending nerves.

Venti nodded in return. That didn’t seem to be too bad of an idea….

“Tao, JUMP.” Xiao complained in the discord call. “You’re going too fast! Slow down!!” A high pitched whine came through from the other end. Xiao took a glance at chat, his expression obviously annoyed.

‘You’re going too fast for tao!’

‘She needa keep up it aint your fault twin’

‘BRO SHE FELL IM SOBBING’

Xiao immediately looked at his screen again and groaned. Hu Tao’s avatar was hanging, flying around the screen in a desperate attempt to gain leverage. Xiao made sure his avatar stayed against the corner but of course that didn’t work.

“YOUR BIG ASS PULLED ME INTO THE AIR.” He groaned, laying his head against his desk. Why did he think streaming this rage bait game was a good idea? He just…

“Alatus!!!” She groaned, avatar jumping repeatedly. “Wait for your teammate and maybe we’ll actually GET somewhere.” She complained. “I’m actually going much slower than I had been. You’re genuinely just bad.” He responded in exasperation.

They haven’t even gotten to 100m yet. They have not reached the first checkpoint.

At least when he played with Barbatos they’d gotten to the end almost….to 400 meters.

He wished they could get that far. He wished he could play this infuriating game with Barbatos…the man had been able to adapt to Alatus’ speedy nature despite the complaints.

“Why don’t I lead?” Hu Tao suggested. He let out a sigh that held all of his absolute annoyance. “If you lead, we're gonna be here all day.” He responded, glaring at his screen as if he was staring directly at his friend.

“If you continue to lead, we’re gonna be here all day without making any progress.” She made sure to shoot back. He took another glance at the chat that primarily took her side.

His chat loved Hu Tao. They loved her mischievousness and she just so happened to have plenty of that for every stream they did. “Fine. I suppose..”

“I’m genuinely about to get off.”

That comment was made after half an hour of not making it anywhere. Even with Hu Tao’s lead she would manage to fall because Xiao was either ‘too up behind her’ or ‘way to far’

The familiar ding from his donations made him turn his head to his other monitor.

“You’re so bad at teamwork, Alatus.” One of Xiao’s exclusive emoticons of him sighing included in the message.

Alatus was about to respond back but he read who sent the donation.

He made sure not to show too extreme of a reaction but he most definitely did freeze up for a moment. “Well. I certainly am trying…” he muttered. His chat seemed to be excited at Barbato’s return and he honestly was as well.

“Try harder! Your raising Tao’s blood pressure at this point.” Another donation from Barbatos, this time the emoji was a worried Hu Tao emoticon.

Xiao sighed, shaking his head. “And she’s not raising mine?” He responded, leaning against his palm, elbow on his desk comfortably as he began reading chat and responding to everyone now. Barbatos began speaking in chat to viewers and to Xiao.

It felt natural now. Of course he was still crashing out over the damn game but he wasn’t as annoyed as earlier. Now enjoying it when they fell. It’d mean he could continue his stream considering he wouldn’t end the stream until they got to 200.

Which they did after another hour and a half.

Xiao was now ending his stream, simply talking to everyone like he did at the end of all of them.

“Maybe you should practice this game in your free time before streaming it again.” Included in that rather rude message was an exclusive Hu Tao laughing emoticon.

He smiled to himself. Looking down for a moment before continuing on with a response. “Well Barbatos, how about you try this game before calling me out?” He hummed.

Another donation comes through. “I’ve completed the game.” That was all there was to the message. Like a taunt. Xiao rolled his eyes, flipping his camera off with a chuckle.

After ending the stream Xiao picked his phone up instantly, opening discord and to Barbato’s dms. He was almost quick to type something but he then froze, a strange anxiety hitting him. This has happened many times he’s thought about reaching out after the first month of Barbato’s absence.

Luckily a message came through, despite it being weird and cryptic.

‘I know you’re there.‘

Xiao’s fingers glided across each key, typing a bit too fast. ‘Of course I am. You’re back.‘

It took a bit for another message to come through. It was hesitant, he could tell. Because despite it taking a while for him to send another message, typing for a bit too long, his sentence happened to be very short.

‘I have to explain some things to you.’

Suddenly a call popped up and Xiao couldn’t help but answer immediately without a second thought. He was so used to the action that he couldn’t even process what he had done for a moment after his icon popped up in the call.

It was silent for a while. Both parties definitely too scared to speak up. But Barbatos initiated the conversation. “It’s been a bit. I really wouldn’t be here if my friend hadn’t talked to me a few days ago.” He began, his voice much quieter than Xiao’s ever really heard before.

It was strange…he was usually a loudmouth. It was almost as if they were calling for the first time again. Barbatos had been a quiet male beforehand, but after a while he had started to show his true colors. They were warm, they were comforting and despite how bright the colors were they were never overbearing. That’s what it felt like.

And Xiao would hate to go back.

Xiao was taken out of his thoughts once the other male began to speak.

“I’m not mad that you hid yourself…well I am but..” Xiao listened intently as Barbatos inhaled deeply to calm himself. “I had been going through some internal conflicts surrounding you that I don’t think I want to go into right now and that’s one of the reasons I acted so irrationally. That and that fact that once I realized who you were I assumed you were using me for something, like the social experiment you pulled when I first met you.” He explained unnecessarily fast.

Xiao looked at his phone, the device Venti’s voice was coming from, definitely surprised. “I won’t force you to continue. I’m not mad at you at all.” Xiao began, clearing his throat. “I was not able to simply tell you who I was, but I never had the intention of doing so anyways even when we got close enough.” He admitted.

“I never really wanted to stream.” Xiao had decided some context was in order before he continued on with his main point. “I always enjoyed online gaming, and have always been pretty good at them…not the team ones, before you say anything.” He allowed the other a small chuckle before moving on. “My..friend…Hu Tao. She’d gotten me into streaming actually. She had been streaming for a bit longer before me and for one of her streams she introduced me for her lethal company gameplay. If you’ve looked into my past streams, you’ll know that’s how I was introduced.”

There was a pause for the other male to speak, and Barbatos actually took it. “Yes actually I do remember that…you only started streaming because people had liked you so much on Hu Tao’s stream. You had a small fan base even without having your own channel and you needed the money so you decided to ‘try it out’ in your words.” Barbatos had explained for him, and it was pretty endearing for some reason. “Good memory.”

“I’m an obsessed fanboy, remember?” They both chuckled, short bittersweet things. Then Xiao decided to wrap up his point. “Anyways. After streaming I couldn’t find a single person to actually talk to and be genuine with. I’m obviously not actively seeking friendships but it’s the weird special treatment I get for being a streamer. That’s why I even have these alt accounts. This was all to say that being your friend made me feel normal. Being someone else online makes me feel like the simple majority and with you I genuinely didn’t want to ruin that. For some reason since the beginning I always knew you were someone I wanted to talk to and that’s why I pursued that. I’m sorry..” Xiao ranted, his expression guilt ridden.

The call fell into silence again. The streamer could understand why. He just went on that longest rant of his life. Honestly Xiao was never like this. He always kept to himself but after the whole ordeal Xiao just wanted to clear things up. He wanted everything to be normal or at least be formally ended. He resorted to staring up at his ceiling whilst the silence continued on.

Xiao really was about to say something to break the silence before a laugh erupted from the other end. “Huh..” He muttered, looking at his phone confused. The laughing continued, getting louder as time went by. Xiao couldn’t help the grin on his face as he began to chuckle along, the laughter seemingly contagious.

“What’re we laughing at?” He spoke during their fit of laughter. Venti had tried to hold in some of his giggles for a chance to speak. “This was- so dramatic..” Xiao heard from the line, the male trying his best to speak between his laughter.

The streamer's head tilted, his laughter continuing but the tone a tad bit confused. “What do you mean?”

He’d gotten an immediate cackle in response. “3 months! I-I was stubborn and- it all makes sense but now it- it sounds so stupid!” Barbatos would laugh before trying to calm himself down to make a full sentence.

“I shouldn’t have overreacted.” Xiao heard a sniffle, not exactly sure if it was out of sadness or if it was because he had laughed so hard previously. “I’m sorry, Alatus. I’d like to try and…fall back into our routine?” there was a small chuckle that made Xiao smile.

He loved hearing their calls be called a ‘routine’. It meant Barbatos had gotten used to it and allowed it to be added to his list of ‘to do’ things in the morning. It meant Xiao was important and he appreciated that.

“Okay. I’d love that…”

And that’s how the day was. They made up. Now what?

Behind the Lens - Elysiumm, LemonSuzuki - 原神 (2025)
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